User blog:GravityMan/MBOHS 9: Finale: El Chupacabra vs the Loch Ness Monster
Sorry about that, anyway I want to thank Leandro for the beautiful cover and Legion for the amazing chiseling. Kung was brilliant as the Chupacabra and the Mongolian Death Worm; The Flatwoods Monster as the Flatwoods Monster; Glisc as the Wendigo; Mothman by Metalfire; the Yeti by Baby GG; and TK as the Jersey Devil. Dw guys I'll link your templates later. <3 Thank you guys so much. I'm everyone else. And this isn't what you think ;). Beat [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e25IW8xGzQA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e25IW8xGzQA] Starts at 0:30 Lyrics Mythical Battles of Historical Shit….. El Chupacabra VS The Loch Ness Monster!!!! Beg- *whack* OW FUCK Heracles: GAH FLATS ALREADY DID THIS BATTLE, DO YOU HAVE NO MORE CREATIVITY? THIS IS A SHAMEFUL FINALE, HUBRIS AGAINST THE CREATOR OF THIS SERIES! Hera: HERACLES! You dumb brute, you killed it for the last time! Now I must deliver your roided ass 12 Labors of Rhyme! Go defeat the cryptids, the beasts that mystify this land! And then the gods will forgive you, Zeus’s brand Heracles: This cuckolded mold tries to stop my flow? You can’t mean it! I’m paid to defeat beasts, don’t ya know? So just fucking bring it! Chupacabra: Yo! I'm the meanest demon; the Nemean hyena is a beast Better hide your ovine sidekick, Phil, or I'mma have a feast If you think you're gonna slay El Chupa, dude ya must be stupid Impervious to blades, tough as nails; Big Bad is truly ruthless Heracles: What up G. Sucka, I’ll split your hairless ass and hide! When I show your comrades how to wear your spoils right! Loch Ness: Your threats are faker than a Surgeon’s, hear what the Champ’s gotta say! Listen to Columba, cross me? Ha! YOU BETTER STAY AWAY! The best emerges from the Depths, of Loch Ness, you don’t mess! I smoke out a sess tender till he’s tender from getting wrecked! Fuck the Water Horse, I’ll cripple any mortal male who tries to touch me! I’ll leave Zeus’s Glory holed up like that bloody bitch Omphale! Heracles: I’m searching for a good opponent like I’m Operation DEEPSCAN! But the results are: There’s no emcee to be SEEN MAN! Your weakness is fire, luckily I spit it on instinct, Show this prehistoric boner why he shoulda stayed extinct! Thylacine: Cough! You wanna talk about extinction? Take a look at your fame! A one shot crackpot who can’t stay on the game! I kill with disease packed in the pouch of every rap! You can claim I’m dead but I’ll always snap back! Heracles: I got this battle locked away like the last of your kind, Why don’t you shit yourself to show the world you’re still alive? Mothman: Come into the light of how you can't overcome the Red-Eye fly drowner I'm on Point of how unpleasant Hera's mutt must feel in this encounter Leaving you UFOwned as you're Argonot worth my time nor the galaxy's Headline: Mount Olympus and Disney crumbled as told by the Prophecies Heracles: I ain’t taking shit from a bitch who got his name from a comic! I fire up a Shitpole like one of your failed McClintic Rockets! Yeti: Never step to the Yeti, you'll feel Panic and Pain No relent against this peasant who's all brawn and no brain You're insane to be messing with the mighty icy giant Just retire cause you'll find that I am twice as high as Titans Rapping cold like the River Styx, and my flow is endless You think you own Olympus but I'm conquering Everest Heracles: That’s enough yak from the snow cone, lemme show you the slopes! My legend drags your ass to new heights better choke on this dope! Your skull’s so thick it’s something even the Argo couldn’t carry! Turn your white fur red and send your scalp to a monastery! Loveland Frog: I’m ribbity-ripping up the track fiercely, it’s frightening, When I lunge my tongue and such, you can’t drive by me! Hot Damn, it’s the Loveland Frog! Is what your muses will say! When I shame this family man for cheating and beating off to gays! Heracles: Haha, what I did was perfectly fine for the time, Don’t try me bitch, you can’t catch my fly! Wendigo: Once I step to the mic, I make skin crawl faster than Arachne The Algonquian people sent me to stop your mythography So here’s a history lesson from the fields of the Supernatural Once you turn into Wendigo, the damage will be collateral Heracles: Your flow was more mindless than your self-named psychosis It’s taboo for you to chomp the battle, you know this The Flatwoods Monster: Halt Heracles! Step into my Woods and you’ll be hit with Mustard Gas, More painful than your raps a Monster will stomp this animal abuser Flat! Your descent is nigh incestuous but origin is celestial I spit these cryptic lyric – Out of this world like an extraterrestrial! My lines pack more venom than the snake that tried to kill you as a baby And when I bring the War to your World it’ll send you straight to Hades! Heracles: What did you call me? Heracles? What am I hearing? It’s Hercules bitch, now suffer my known Roman conquering! You’re a hoot! Ha! You look like a turtle dick in drag! That passed Mustard Gas has more sauce than you will ever have! Kelpie: Hey Herc, what a perk, it is to meet ya finally, You look weary, rest ya feet, and hop on me! I’ll drag your ass farther than that girdle will carry ya! Got you by the goat like Nessus not neigh, for serious! Heracles: I think I saw your cousin up for display at Coney! Hot damn! I’ll brand your ass and make you My Little Pony! Bigfoot: Uh, they call me the Skunk Ape, cause I leave a stank, On the campsite of the mic so cold, I’ll leave your bitch dank! I’m cocky cause any emcee knows what comes with big feet! STOMPING! I’m Sas-squashing this son of a slutty mommy! I take a rap in tape, every owned ho, wants to analyze it! This testosterone junkie looks up to me! Don’t deny it! Heracles: You stink! I dig my own flow when the verses get dry! The Macho Man Waldo better do his job and go hide! Here’s some plaster! Take a cast of the blasts I’m putting in your bum! You’re the only dumb ape Jane Goodall wouldn’t love! DONE! Mongolian Death Worm: Surprise bitch, you cheated! Now isn't this a shocka Lightning blast your ass, I'm spittin' acid, worse than Shaka! Homie, if you're roaming in the Gobi, best beware, I'm killin' Kinda like the time you up and murdered all you children Heracles: I’ll be wearing thick cotton when I best you in grapple! I’ve seen scarier worms in the Hesperides’ apples! Jersey Devil: Devil's evil deeds, the hellish realm it leads The target's Heracles, you can't step to the deathbringer from Leeds! Your bitches on Mount Olympus can't help but give up to this You can't behead this, witch, I vex the hexes of the exorcists! Heracles: You look like a wet dream that Tim Burton would think up! You’re the son of a traitor so keep your bastard mouth shut! Too harsh? Then keep your slimy tongues in and fight like men! I’m a god motherfuckers, we all know who will win! ROOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR* Poll Who Won? Heracles The Cryptids *everyone Category:Blog posts